I See You

Throughout my life there have been many times I’ve felt invisible, lonely, alone either by my own decisions or by circumstances. And sometimes I am reminded that I as not alone as I experienced one morning at the grocery store.

I was working two jobs in Upland after moving to be with my husband, Dave. A move not planned but brought about by yet another down-sizing of the company that employed him.

One of my jobs was in the early hours of the morning (3rd shift) and the other was during the day at the local library.  This schedule of two jobs at such different times reeked havoc with my ability to meet people and build relationships.  It wasn’t impossible and eventually I mad supportive, caring relationships.

On this morning, however, I was attending a massive pity party!  I was thankful for God meeting our needs through these jobs, thankful for being with Dave but I felt alone and lonely, invisible away from the love of kids, grandkids, family and friends.  I wondered if God even cared about this life I didn’t ask for.

My answer came one morning after working the third shift housekeeping job.  I was at the store to pick up a few items for supper.  After gathering the ingredients for supper (tacos) and a treat for the guys I work with (pineapple upside down cake) I placed my red plastic basket on the conveyor belt.  A woman dressed in business attire came up behind me placing her items after my basket. After scanning my items the cashier told me the total of my purchase as I pulled my debit card out of my wallet.

The woman next to me said, “Let me get that for you as she pulled cash from her wallet.  I was probably a millisecond from ruffling my prideful feathers, after all my husband had a great job, I made my own money. I don’t need a handout!

But I was stopped in my spirit by a voice that said, ” Accept my gift, Patt….I see you.”

Stunned, I thanked the woman and left the store with tears streaming once again God reminded me of His love and care.  I asked her for her name which I no longer remember but to me she will always be known as a messenger from God to comfort and encourage me.

I exchanged few words with her in the parking lot where she told me she always carries extra cash so she is able to be obedient when asked to share.  So, now I too, try to carry extra cash, or pay it forward in other ways in the hopes that I too, can be God’s messenger of love and hope.

No matter what our circumstances God sees us, He loves us and when we least expect it He answers a prayer, calms a fear and in His way gives us a big hug!